I have just finished reading the book 'This is What Inequality Looks Like' by Teo You Yenn and one line stayed with me.
'Wants are Often Needs' (Page 184)
What the author was trying to convey to the reader is this. When your son asks for a pair of soccer boots or your daughter asks for the latest IPhone, they are not merely wants out of whim. Its because of the need to feel belonged to the society we live in. To fit in. To fulfill the need to feel love, respect and acceptance by the people who are in our social circle. What else would explain why one drives a luxury car ? A luxury car is a status symbol and driving it gives you power. People see you differently when they see you get out of a luxury car. They immediately put you in high status and you are treated with utmost respect and dignity.
The need to feel love, respect and acceptance, does it have to apply only to children? It applies to everyone. From the so called invisible cleaners we don't acknowledge and whom we walk around to the housewives in every household who toil day in and day out performing a myriad of jobs.
To feel loved, respected and accepted gives us a reason to wake up in the mornings. A reason to power through a hectic day. A reason to pick up after your children, a reason to cook after a long day in the museum. When we are valued and when we are not taken for granted, it elevates us and gives us a sense of self worth. How we see ourselves is a very important feeling. Self-esteem refers to our own beliefs about our own worth and value. Having a good self esteem is important because it heavily influences our choices and decisions. It motivates us to take care of ourselves in terms of exercise and self grooming. It gives us greater confidence to face people and life's challenges and persistently strives us to personally fulfill our goals and aspirations.
Wanting to feel loved, accepted and respected for who we are which translates to better self worth, is a need. It is not a desire. And when one does not feel loved, accepted and respected, when one is made to feel small and insignificant, its time to reflect, let go and move on.
My home is
usually in a mess and has dust settled on almost everything. But I believe laughter and love will win the day. In 20 years, my girls won't remember how messy the house was but will remember the time we spent together and the love they felt...